I’m doing a study with 3 friends and one of the questions references John 12:1-8. It’s specifically asking how Mary’s actions inspire our own acts of worship. 

I wrote: Worship should cost you something. (Amongst other notes). I wrote this a couple of weeks ago and didn’t fully understand what God was saying to me. 

Kids are hard. Bringing kids with you costs you time. It costs me my selfishness. It costs me my comfort. It costs me my feelings. It costs me energy. It requires me to choose patience and gentleness. It requires me to put myself aside and put away everything I know. To retrain the things I’ve learned if I don’t like them and to practice the new things that I do. I’m a hot head. I get frustrated easily and I’m also emotional. I cry at literally everything. I want to raise independent kids but it really does cost me something to teach them and bring them with me (I mean, have you ever brought kids to a grocery store?). 

Being a wife is hard. It costs me comfort. It costs me my expectations. It costs me my habits. It costs me my anger. It costs me my body. It costs me my independence. It costs me my leadership, to submit to the authority of my husband who chases Jesus. It costs me my emotions and time and sometimes my desires. It requires me to become a helper suitable. To be one with my spouse. It requires me to lay aside my hopes and wants to support my family and fill in gaps. It requires me to speak kindly when I’m justified to be angry. To give up being right sometimes. To sacrifice.

But it’s worship.

Being a mother is my worship. Being a wife is my worship. It’s my ministry. And it costs me something. It calls me to die to self and choose Jesus. To bring my best to His feet. And I get it wrong. A lot. But He doesn’t expect perfection, He expects my best. We should be different when we are done worshipping. 

I was reading a book a few months ago that said something along the lines of “if you think you’re not worshipping something, you have no idea what you’re actually worshipping.” It’s this concept of; if you wake up in the morning and think you are not worshipping anything but then grab your phone before the word, you are worshipping the monster of comparison. If you reach for your calendar, you are worshipping the monster of busyness.

I also wrote “Jealous” as my attribute of God to pray over and meditate on. 

God is a jealous God. 

He doesn’t demand or force us to bring Him anything. He doesn’t force us to love Him. But He does ask for it. He is worthy of it. He is jealous. 

You can’t serve two God’s so who or what are you serving? And does it cost you something? 

See worship is not an easy thing. Following Jesus isn’t usually comfortable. It’s terrifying to realize that you loose who you were and it’s hard to change. You loose yourself…but you gain the world. His plans for you will be good. He is worth the loss because He is better than anything you can gain on your own. 

Your worship should cost you something.

The cool thing about this story of Mary is that all four accounts in the gospel mention that she broke the alabaster jar. Alabaster jars often contained precious contents. There is no reusing them. Once you open it, there’s no going back. I think this is significant because not only does it emphasize the cost of her worship, but it echos the imagery of Jesus’ future. How He would be broken. His blood would pour out. She had to use everything in that jar, much like salvation was not finished until Christ gave Himself entirely over. It’s a a soft whisper to the beauty and magnitude of what Christ actually did. I think that when we put it into perspective, our worship seems to feel inadequate. We owe Him everything.

The worship is worth it.

Everything we do is an act of worship. I remember listening to a podcast by Sadie Robertson. Her husband had guest starred on “Woah That’s Good”. I don’t remember everything, but he talked about the reasoning behind why he went to the gym. It was originally for visual, selfish gains. As he chased Jesus and had a baby, it became more for the ability to care for his family. To chase his kids. To carry the carseats. To glorify God by caring for his family. The reason we do anything should be for the glory of God. Everything we do has purpose and meaning behind it. Everything we do is worship. The way you treat strangers is worship. The way you manage your calendar is worship. The way you speak to your kids is worship. The way you spend your free time is worship. So make sure it worships Jesus. Make sure it leaves you different. Make sure you spend your worship wisely…

Under The Sun