Galatians 6:9 says “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Perseverance is attached to the promise. I am down right exhausted. Not necessarily from doing good, but from just… all of the things. However; my most important ministry is motherhood and my family and that is good. So maybe I am? Don’t read in to that too much. I’m not over motherhood or wifing, I am just tired from all of the going going going. I’m tired of my at home PT. I’m tired of the dishes and never ending cleaning. I am tired of all of the heavy. Life has not quite gone the way I had expected and when life is already challenging, it is no help when emotions or unmet expectations make life heavier.

My husband and I’s prayer life over our own lives has looked almost the exact same for the last 3 ish months…

God help us to have peace in the waiting, even if the answer is no. Help us find relief in my husband’s work schedule or provide a different way. Sustain our bodies and spirit. Help us have another baby because we recognize your might and ability so until you say otherwise, I will keep asking. Help us be content. Help us figure out land and house building. Help us have joy in the patience. Help us be present even when tired. Help us find balance in pouring into the kids and real rest. Help us be good stewards. Give us strength. Help us lead others with grace. Help us recognize where we are missing the mark and convict us to change. Give us wisdom and guidance on how we are to walk forward… etc. This is a very “spark notes” version but you get the gist.

Some days are better than others. Others are… empty? I guess.

I had someone send me a Facebook reel and it talked about how she wasn’t responding harshly because she wanted to. She was tired of the repetition. The constant correcting of the same things. I want to say it was from a lady named Peyton but I can’t find it now. She mentioned that somewhere along the way, weariness started leading her tone.

Excuse me… that was directed exactly at me, God.

My word for the year is purpose. Not like… What is my purpose? What am I supposed to do with my life?

But what is my motivation? Am I looking at the reasons behind what I am doing?

It’s like God gracefully reminded me “hey… remember what we’re working on.”. I think somewhere along the way, I fell into a place of obligation, not love. It was coming from a place of pressure, not joy. All of the tasks and work were good things, but I had begun to believe the lie that I HAVE to do all of the things. Look, I do HAVE to do things but I also GET to. Next thing I know… my tone, my “rest”, my responses, my everything became short and selfish and from a hardened heart to them.

In the original greek, the phrase “grow weary” means to loose heart or collapse inwardly.

Suddenly, I’m flashing back to some conversations where I said “I don’t really have a choice”. But I do. Seeds grow subtly at first. Good ones and bad. I had planted a seed that shifted my heart and then grew my responses to be from weariness. From emptiness and exhaustion. Those definitely are not fruits of the spirit and now I’m having a heart correction. At least that’s one prayer CLEARLY answered.

Scripture doesn’t pretend that weariness won’t happen. So what now?

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28. Weariness is an invite to return to Christ. It’s a sign that we have wandered off and started to rely on our own strength. The back half of that Galatians verse I opened with is a reminder to remember the promise. I’m drawn back to my post about our whole life is supposed to reflect Christ and we are SERVANTS. My life is not mine to keep. The enemy wants us to quit. He wants us to sit in our weariness, look inward, and loose out of the harvest ahead. God has good plans and He does say “The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few”. We can get stuck doing good things, but if it comes from a place of weariness then is it actually good? Even reading your Bible or going to church can be from a “have to” mentality and you miss everything God is trying to tell you. I do believe His word never returns empty, but He is patiently waiting on you. Planting new seeds, waiting for you to tend them.

Harvest always happens after a season of unseen growth. I think of the saying ” like watching the grass grow”. We use it to say something is painfully slow or uneventful. I don’t plant a seed and get to see immediate results. Winter wheat takes something like 7-9 months to harvest. There are seasons in life where it looks like nothing is happening, but you can’t stop tending the field. You can’t grow weary. And if you do, you have to come back to Jesus. You have to rest in Him.

I’m sorry Lord for drifting to a place of weariness. For planting the wrong seeds. For speaking harshly or being impatient or distracted. Help me to have a softened heart. Renew my joy for the mundane and let my fruits be from you. Plant new seeds. Help me remember why.

Faithful obedience matters. My heart posture matters. Perseverance is attached to the promise.

So here I am, returning to Jesus while I’m …

Under the Sun