My husband and I have big dreams. Big goals. We are very blessed with a support system that helps us pursue the things we are chasing after (as long as it makes sense). We pray very hard over our goals. We pray they don’t become idols where the gifts are now above the one who gave them to us. We pray that the things we want align with God’s will for our life. We have been allowed to do some amazing things for our age all thanks to God and the direction and skills He has blessed us with and the people He has placed in our lives.

Yet we always feel behind. I don’t really know why, but when things start to go wrong or bills start to pile up or health starts to tank, it sometimes feels like a one step forwards, two steps back kind of gig. I don’t know why a car needing fixing is one of the fastest ways to send me in to a spiral of trying to figure things out before they get bad. Once I’m in the bad situations, I have a crazy peace. But that check engine light comes on and I’m already scrambling to create back up plans before the scanner is ever plugged in. We’ve been in the same house for over four years now and we feel like we should be able to own land or build a house by now and it’s just not happening. We feel stuck in neutral and we begin to grasp and plan and figure it all out. Now, planning is a good thing. Dreams are a good thing… Unless they become idols or you let the enemy use it as ammo.

Doing things young means doing things the hard way usually. We’ve had our fair share of trials and twists and turns. We’ve been broke. We’ve been blessed. We’ve had no cars. We’ve had three cars. We’ve had health issues and we’ve been healthy. We’ve been stuck finding a house in the worst market possible. We’ve been through job changes and hard hours. We were once a four income household. I’ve been a stay at home mom. I think because my life is so full of big hard things, I try and over prepare with the little things to keep it from being another big thing. Does that make sense?

God stopped me in my tracks today on Facebook. Yes, Facebook. It wasn’t a religious reel but Eliana Ghen shared a reel of two people sitting across from each other.

P1: (in tears) “I’m just worried something bad is going to happen al the time, and it happenes all the time. And then I don’t know what to do.”

P2: “And what’s happened every other time?”

P1: “I don’t know, I guess I just figured it out.”

P2: “Can I tell you something?”

P1: *smiles a tad in approval*

P2: “You worry too much for someone that’s figured it out every single time.”

I stopped and thought back to all the stuff God has brought us through. I think we have no problem using our stories and testimonies to encourage others but we forget that our testimony is for us too. It’s a reminder of God’s faithfulness to us. Not just to a random stranger or the neighbor or the person in the pew next to us, but to us. Life is hard. Not just my life, everyone’s. Everyone has things they go through, things they overcome, things that happen around them. And this world is broken and messy and sinful and sad. We have pain and loss and hardships. But we can always keep going one more day because our life is proof that God has sustained us before and He can do it again. We can have joy (not just happiness, but joy) in the hardships because it’s nothing my God hasn’t seen before. He was faithful then and He will be faithful now. Even in the things that didn’t end how I had asked, God was still moving and working things for my good.

I mean, I wrecked my van in September and it was legally my fault and we were already trying to replace my husband’s car. It was NOT ideal. We both had jobs that we had to drive to. His was 40 minutes away and starts EARLY. We had JUST built up a small savings and that’s all we had. I remember thinking “Wrong car Lord!” My husband’s car is still kicking great AND the car that I have now is way more new and maintained than my old one. I have sliding doors! It’s just crazy to me the blessing it ended up being.

My point in that is, God’s timing is good and He has plans even when it feels like He doesn’t. Every day that we have lived is proof He will sustain our steps tomorrow. The heaviness of life isn’t going to crush us. The circumstances we have gone through remind us that He will carry us through tomorrow.

Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Have hopes and goals and dreams. Work hard. Pray harder. Don’t fear what’s to come. Control what you can control today, pray about what you can’t, and remember what He has already brought you through…

Under The Sun.