Life is lifing right now. Sometimes I get tired of all of the problems popping up at once. Because it’s not just over when they all get fixed or moved on from, new ones just come in their collective place. No one issue is overwhelming on its own but collectively, I feel like I’m swimming against the current. But maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I shouldn’t be swimming at all.

My husband’s car got totaled over a little fender bender because of the age and paint. With all of the little things to fix, we are waiting to hear on if we can buy it back or not. What they gave us may be a fair value but I can’t replace it with what they are offering. Life has eaten away at our savings and we can’t afford to even add to it and get a decent car. We may end up financing a car for the first time ever. Eww. And we still have 3 fixes to do on my car. Nothing like the humbling reality that maybe I am not as surrendered as I think I am.

I think we can acknowledge the frustration and sadness that comes with everything and still put it down instead of hold it. I also think we can shove down actually facing how we feel and then you think you’ve surrendered it but you secretly ignore the left over emotions hidden behind your back. After all, you can’t put down what you don’t acknowledge.

I have some unspoken things going on in life. Job life shifting again. (I love my job but any shift is hard). Not to mention the crushing reality that I have 9 days to train and prep my job before surgery. It’s sneaking up so fast. My fill in is doing amazing and yet I still feel personally behind trying to get the last of my projects buttoned up.

Suddenly I find myself like Peter.

Matthew 14:22-33 is a story that may seem far fetched but is no different than our worrying about life.

Jesus walks on water to the boat filled with His Disciples. It was windy and there were waves crashing around. The disciples saw Him and were terrified. Peter called out saying “If it’s you, tell me to come to the water.”. Jesus told him to come and then Peter began to walk on the water. The moment that Peter looked away at the wind and waves, we began literally and figuratively sinking in it. I find it funny that Peter then calls out to Jesus like Jesus was the one who changed. Jesus in His good mercy reached out and caught him.

We are like Peter. Jesus is the same. He has never left. He is still greater than the winds and waves of life. We are the ones who begin to look away. We see the troubles instead of keeping fixed on God and then we become swallowed by the very things we are scared of. What we give attention to is where we drift. Praise the Lord for His gentle and gracious rescue over and over again.

As we look to The Father, it’s tempting to look away while we hear the howl of the wind in our ears and we feel the spray from the waves crashing at our feet. We want to prepare for storm instead of be still and look to our Savior. Something about not having control or the ability to save ourselves is terrifying. Our faith has to be bigger than our doubt or worry. God has proven himself over and over. All we need to do is look to Him. And when we find ourselves drifting or sinking, we can call upon His name and know that He will be faithful to save us when we repent for our doubt and recognize His great mercy.

Nothing we face is a surprise to Him and He has all of our life in the palm of His hands. Lord for give me when I doubt like Peter…

Under The Sun.