I am reading book that teaches the importance of and the foundational idea about apologetics and why it’s important. It talks about subjective and objective truth. We’ve slowly and subtly created a narrative that truth (even scripture) is subjective. “What is this saying to you”. And while the word of God is alive and active in our lives and He DOES speak uniquely to us, the finality and meaning behind God’s word is true and permanent. It’s why understanding context and seeking original meaning behind words and passages is important. Truth is not subjective. It cannot be changed by the opinions and feelings of anyone.

I read this part of the book on Wednesday while waiting in the car to get my kids from school.

Move to yesterday. I got a call that my insurance is suddenly denying my physical therapy that I need in order to recover. They have already approved it to mid September and yet suddenly they have changed their minds and I owe over $500 in back pay and they won’t be covering it any more. I throw a dog toy with everything I have and then used all of this morning to start disputing this concept. As I am reviewing all of the submissions from PT, I discover they have denied the entire $35k surgery as “Out of Network”. This comes after I submitted all of the appropriate documents and the office submitted all of the stuff on their end. I researched the doctor and found the facility and it is IN network. Tears and frustrations later and I am nowhere. No progress. I could go into lots of details but basically, it got worse. AND now they decided to not cover my daughter’s speech therapy anymore.

I am exhausted and empty. I have been arguing all morning. I cried a bit. I submitted complaints to the insurance commissioner. I’ve done all that I can do for now. I picked up my sick older kid (because he stayed home sick from school today) and sat in the pick up line to get my youngest. The car was quiet besides the hum of the AC blowing through the vents. I turned on the music and it had a suggested playlist of music “For EM”. The first song on was “So Be It” by elevation worship.

At first listen, this song sounds like “I accept it”. Almost a disgusted or frustrated or exhausted allowance of life because “whatever God. I hate this but I’ll take what I’m dealt”. That’s not at all what it’s about. All day, we make subtle agreements. “Today is just a rough day”. “I’m just an angry person”. “”There’s just nothing I can do here”. We surrender to the idea that’s in front of us that things just are what they appear to be. What if I told you that there is another option? The song “So Be It” is actually an “Amen”. It is a song about coming to agreement with God’s word. “God, because you have spoken, I know it is settled”. When our King speaks, it is filled with sovereignty. It does not compete with the voice of your fear, you past, your opinion. Your diagnosis doesn’t get a vote. Your delay doesn’t get a vote. Your circumstances don’t get a vote. It is final and all powerful. God’s reality invades our present reality as heaven comes down for His will to be done. The voices around us are loud but they can’t move or sway God’s love, direction, or authority.

Life is heavy. Life is always changing. Life is sometimes scary. Life is always happening but it doesn’t get to tell me who God is or what God will do.

God speaks.

We agree.

God says He is King.

We agree.

God say’s it is finished.

We agree.

So Be It.

God is who He says He is, not in the absence of fear or struggles or challenges, but in the midst of even that.

So be it, God…

And that is the agreement that I choose to be under…

Under The Sun.